These Simpsons Episodes are Fun

s18e09


1606


1309


1305


1708

My Imagination Story which includes Cagney continued

This time, Bart’s Historical Dream continues; instead of going back to the 1960s, when the Simpson kids have families of their own, the Historical Dream goes back to the 1930s, when the Simpson children are living with their parents in Danville, Kentucky. In September 1934, while Bart is visiting Hitler in Germany, Lisa (who is now 10) and Raphael (who is now 13) are bored playing in their tire swing one hot day. Raphael asks, “Ya wanna go to the movies?” Lisa says, “No. There ain’t no Marx Brothers movies out. And I reckon no Shirley Temple movie is out now.” Raphael says, “I didn’t mean no Shirley Temple or Marx Brothers movie; I mean, let’s go see a James Cagney movie.” Lisa says, “A James Cagney movie? No, ‘cause I hate gangster movies! If I ain’t liked The Mayor of Hell and Picture Snatcher, then I ain’t gonna like whatever James Cagney movie we’s ‘bout to see.” Raphael says, “You liked Hard to Handle, Lady Killer, and Footlight Parade.” Lisa says, “You’s right; I did.” Raphael says, “Well, let’s go to the Warner Brothers movie house yonder and see which o’ them James Cagney movies we wanna watch.” Lisa gets off the tire swing and grabs his hand. The children leave the yard but then stop when they see the Klein children (Merrill is now 14, Calvin is now 11, Priscilla is now eight, and Orville is now five) coming up to the front door of the boarding house. Lisa asks, “What are they doin’ here? We ain’t invited ‘em.” Raphael says, “No, but I reckon Orville is comin’ over to play with Maggie. Let’s ask ‘em if they wanna come to the movies with us!” Once the other Klein children exit the boarding house after dropping off their younger brother at the Simpsons’ home, Raphael and Lisa approach them. Lisa asks, “Hi, y’all! We was wonderin’ if y’all would like to come with us to Warner Brothers movie house yonder to see a James Cagney picture?” Priscilla says, “I ain’t ‘lowed to see a James Cagney movie. My mommy reckons Cagney is too violent and scary for me.” Merrill says, “It’s true. She had nightmares when we done taken her to see James Cagney in The Public Enemy a couple o’ years ‘go.” Raphael says, “But Cagney ain’t always violent and scary. He can be funny and romantic at times.” Calvin says, “We still ain’t ‘lowed to take her to a James Cagney movie, no matter how funny or romantic the guy is! We’s still gonna come to the movies with y’all but we dunno what to do with Priscilla.” Lisa says, “Well, she ain’t gonna stay at our place ‘cause our folks are too busy with Maggie and Orville.” Merrill says, “And she ain't gonna walk home by herself. That means I gotta walk her home and walk them dangerous streets by myself to meet y'all at the movie house. Ma don't like it when we walk on them streets alone.” Raphael says, “We oughta just take her. 'Sides, I don't reckon them James Cagney movies that are out are even violent and scary.” Calvin says, “But I don't wanna risk it with our folks, 'specially Pa, who's gonna beat the livin' outta us if we take her.” Priscilla says, “Lemme stay at the Simpsons’ home. I’m gonna keep Maggie and Orville entertained so Mr. and Mrs. Simpson can have time to themselves, ‘cept when they feed us.” Merrill says, “Okay. You can stay at the Simpsons’ home but you hafta promise to be good to Mr. and Mrs. Simpson. And good luck with Maggie and Orville ‘cause they's can get wild and rough. Orville’s still gettin’ o’er his trauma o’ goin’ to kindergarten so he may bite you or pull your hair…” Merrill continues, “…(To Lisa and Raphael) He done that to her plenty o' times afore.” Priscilla says, “Don't worry! I'm gonna do what I did to him when he done that to me afore: I'm gonna slap him.” Calvin says to his little sister, “C’mon, Priscilla; I'm gonna take you back to the Simpsons’ home.” Priscilla and Calvin go inside the boarding house to go back to the Simpsons' home. In a little while Calvin exits the boarding house and the Klein and Simpson children go to the Warner Brothers' moviehouse, which is just around the corner. At the moviehouse, the Simpson and Klein children look at the marquee and try to decide which James Cagney movie to see. Lisa say, “We can either see Jimmy the Gent or Here Comes the Navy.” Raphael says, “Let’s get a double feature so we’s get to see both o’ them movies.” Calvin says, “Thank goodness I done brang 'nough dough. (To the box office vendor) Four tickets for double feature, ma'am.” The vendor says, “The pictures playin’ durin’ the double feature are Jimmy the Gent and Here Comes the Navy, ain't that ‘kay, hon?” Merrill says, “Darn tootin’, ma’am. (To Calvin) Give her the money, Calvin.” Calvin pays for the tickets and gives them to his sister and friends. Before long, the Klein & Simpson children are sitting in the movie theater and watching James Cagney in Jimmy the Gent while eating snacks[1]. Meanwhile, at the Simpsons' home, Priscilla enters Maggie's room, where Orville is playing with a toy train and Maggie (who is now three) is having a tea party with her hand-me-down Raggedy Ann doll. Just then, Orville grabs Raggedy Ann, puts her in front of the train and says, “Oh no! Raggedy Ann's gonna get run o’er by the train!” He runs the train over Raggedy Ann while making sound effects of the doll dying. Maggie snatches Raggedy Ann away from Orville and shouts, “Stop it! Don't do that to Raggedy Ann! She’s gonna rip.” Orville finally notices Priscilla and asks her, “Priscilla, whatcha doin’ here? You ain’t s’pposed to be here!” Priscilla says, “I reckon that, Orville. But our brother and sister went to them movies with Maggie’s brother and sister.” Maggie asks, “Why ain’t ya gone with ‘em?” Priscilla says, “’Cause they was gonna see a James Cagney movie.” Orville says, “Oh. Mama says you ain’t ‘lowed to see his movies.” Maggie asks irrelevantly, “So, whaddya wanna play? I say we play ‘House.’” Orville says, “No way! Let's build a city with them blocks and knock it down with my toy cars!” Priscilla says, “No. I say we have a nice, quiet tea party with Maggie's dolls. (Picks up the Raggedy Ann doll) This must be the Raggedy Ann doll that Calvin done said belonged to Lisa. It still has them mud stains from when she done dropped it in the mud.” Maggie asks, “How didja reckon ‘bout that?” Priscilla says, “Calvin done told me ‘bout it and Lisa done told him ‘bout it.” The kids sent up Maggie’s hand-me-down stuffed animals and dolls for the tea party. As soon as they finish setting up, the kids all sit down for the tea party. While sipping pretend tea, Priscila and Maggie pretend to have a sophisticated conversation. Orville, on the other hand, doesn’t enjoy himself since he is averse to doing such a girly activity. Just then, Marge comes in with a tray of peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, applesauce, and grape juice. She says, “Here's lunch for y’all kids: Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, applesauce, and grape juice.” Orville's bored face lightens up when he sees the food and he knocks the tea set off the table so Marge can set the tray down. Marge says, “Why thank you, Orville. (To Priscilla as she sets the tray down on the table) And Priscilla, my lil’ helper, if anythin’ goes wrong with them two, you lemme know.” Priscilla says, “’Kay, Mrs. Simpson! Priscilla continues, “… (Spots Orville grabbing a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and taking the crusts off plus throwing them on the floor) Orville, don’t put them crusts on the floor; put ‘em on the table ‘stead.” Orville rolls his eyes and mumbles something inaudibly under his breath. At that moment, Maggie grabs a bowl of applesauce and gobbles it down. Priscilla says, “Maggie, don’t eat your applesauce like that. Take dainty lil’ bites like this.” She demonstrates for Maggie how to eat properly by taking small bites of her applesauce. Maggie says rebelliously, “I don’t wanna!” She continues wolfing down her applesauce. Priscilla shrugs and then sees that Orville is done with his peanut butter & jelly sandwich but he is not touching his applesauce. She says to him, “Orville, eat your applesauce! (Points at Maggie) Maggie’s eatin’ her applesauce.” Orville whines, “I don't wanna eat this nasty stuff! You ain’t gonna make me!” Priscilla says, “Yes I am! I’m the boss and I order ya to eat your applesauce!” Orville says rebelliously, “You ain’t the boss o’ us!” He then dumps his applesauce all over Priscilla's lap and bites her. Priscilla slaps him across the face and says angrily, “This is my good dress! (Shouts to Homer and Marge) Mr. and Mrs. Simpson-.” Maggie interrupts her, “Shut up! Don’t brang my mommy and daddy up here! (To Orville) C’mon, Orville! Let's tie her up with my jump rope!” She takes her jump rope out of her toy box and grabs one end while Orville grabs the other. The children then put the rope across Priscilla's chest and circle around her, wrapping her in the rope. Orville then ties the two ends together at the back of the chair. Priscilla shouts, “Help! Help!” Orville immediately puts a block in her mouth and says, “Don’t talk! Now be quiet while we draw on them walls!” Priscilla spits out the block and says, “Don’t y’all dare!” The children ignore her and proceed with drawing on the walls. Meanwhile, at the movie theater, in between the double feature of James Cagney movies, the Simpson and Klein kids play a raffle game. During the game, Raphael says to the Klein children, “I dunno why them folks o’ yours ain’t let Priscilla watch them James Cagney movies. The last Cagney movie ain’t even violent; ‘stead, Cagney was so funny.” Lisa says, “Yeah! Priscilla dunno what she’s missin’!” Calvin says, “Ma and Pa reckon James Cagney is too violent for Priscilla; therefore, they’s don’t let her watch him. Even when he’s funny, Cagney can get mighty intense…” Calvin continues, “…He be sayin’ somethin’ funny one minute and the next minute he punchin’ someone in the face. That ain’t somethin’ you’s gonna want your children to see.” Merrill says, “Yeah! I reckon how she’s doin’ now with Maggie and Orville. I hope she done hear my warnin’ ‘bout how wild them lil’ monsters can get.” After the raffle game, the second James Cagney movie, Here Comes the Navy, starts. Concurrently, at the Simpsons’ home, Priscilla releases herself from the chair through a very hard task, which involves untying the jump rope. To make sure Maggie and Orville don’t tie her to the chair with the jump rope again, Priscilla throws the jump rope out the window—right out the front window onto the street. Just then, Maggie and Orville come back from going to the bathroom. Orville spots his sister out of the chair and asks, “Hey, whatcha doin’ outta the chair? How didja get outta there?” Priscilla says, “It’s a long story.” Maggie asks, “Whatcha do with my jump rope?” Priscilla says, “It’s ‘round here somewhere. Y’all gonna look for it later.” Maggie says, “I reckon we gotta take care of ya some other way. (To Orville) Let’s throw blocks at her!” Orville says, “Yeah, and them other toys too!” In a short time, when Orville and Maggie have only thrown a few blocks at Priscilla, Homer comes in and says, “Naptime, kids. (To Priscilla) Priscilla, you keep an eye on ‘em.” At the same time, Maggie and Orville get into the former’s bed and take their nap. While the children take their nap, Priscilla quietly cleans up the mess in the room. A half an hour later, the children wake up from their nap; Maggie immediately gets out her finger-paints. She and Orville use the paints to decorate Priscilla’s face while the mother’s helper naps on the bed. Once Priscilla wakes up, she finds her face a hideous mess from the finger paints and screams while Maggie and Orville laugh. Priscilla exits the bedroom and runs to the kitchen with Orville and Maggie chasing her. Orville shouts, “Come back, Priscilla! We ain’t done decoratin’ your face!” Priscilla says to Homer and Marge hysterically, “Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, I can’t take it! I ain’t takin’ care o’ them lil’ monsters! They’s mighty wild!” Maggie says to her, “Priscilla, I hafta finish gettin’ your face pretty.” Marge says, “Maggie, don’t use them finger paints on Priscilla’s face! (Spots a paint stain on Maggie’s dress) And didja get them paints on your dress? (Maggie nods her head in shame) Bad girl! That was a bad thang to do!” Homer says to Orville, “And it’s almost time for ya to go home! But first I gotta clean your sister’s face.” He takes Priscilla over to the sink to wash off her face; he scrubs real hard with soap and water to get the paint off Priscilla’s face. Just then, the older Simpson and Klein children come in through the doorway. Marge, who is scouring the paint stain off Maggie’s dress, asks, “Hey, kids! How was them Jimmy Cagney movies?” Raphael says, “They was great! Here Comes the Navy was blast!” Lisa says, “And Jimmy the Gent was hilarious!” Calvin says to his little sister, “They wasn’t scary, Priscilla! They mighta had their moments but other than that, they wasn’t scary.” Priscilla runs up to the kids, “You was right, y’all: I can’t handle them two lil’ monsters! They was mighty wild!” Merrill asks, “They was that wild, was they? (To her youngest brother) Orville, whatcha do to Priscilla?” Orville gives his eldest sister an innocent, quizzical look. Homer says, “Bart is gonna be so disappointed when he hears that y’all went to a James Cagney movie without him. I betcha they’s don’t show them James Cagney movies in Germany.” Priscilla says, “I miss Bart. Tell him I said howdy and that I love him.” With that, Homer sits down at the typewriter to write a letter to Bart; in the letter, he tells his son about how the Simpson children, except for Maggie, and the Klein children, except for Priscilla and Orville, went to the movies to see a double-feature of two James Cagney movies. Then, in a P.S. note, Homer tells Bart that Priscilla said howdy and that she loves him and misses him. Next, Homer goes down to the post office to mail his letter to Bart. Several weeks later, in Berlin, Germany, Bart (who is now 12) reads his letter from home and groans with disappointment when he reads his siblings and friends went to see two James Cagney movies without him. He crumbles the letter in frustration but then uncrumbles it to read the rest. Afterwards, he goes to the typewriter to write back to his family; in the letter, he asks his family what James Cagney they saw without him. Then, in a P.S. note, Bart tells his family to tell Priscilla that he said howdy and he loves her and misses her. Still disappointed by the fact that the Simpsons saw two James Cagney movies without him, Bart asks Hitler, “Adolf, why ain’t you gonna show them American movies in Germany?” Hitler says, “Ve only show propaganda mofies here.” Bart sighs, puts several stamps on the envelope and says, “I’m goin’ to the post office.” He walks down the street to the Deutsche Reichspost, where he mails his letter to his family. (Bart is with Hitler for continuity purposes in the storyline. I don't like Hitler; never have, never will!) Just then, Bart wakes up from his dream.
...Skip ahead three months and one conversation later...
Just then, Homer comes in and asks his two children, “Hey, Bart and Lisa, didja know that we’re gonna see the Marx Brothers’ new movie, Animal Crackers, somewhere in the UK, Canada, or the US?" Bart asks smartly, “Who hired you to be a spokesperson if you dunno whatcha talking ‘bout?” Lisa says, “Dad, that isn’t till September. The Marx Brothers are probably shooting Animal Crackers right now.” Homer asks with misunderstanding, “They’re shooting animal crackers?!” He becomes worried as he imagines the Marx Brothers shooting animal crackers with guns and rifles. Lisa says, “No, I mean they’re probably filming their new movie, Animal Crackers. You should already get what I mean.” Bart asks, “If what Dad said was true, then which of those three places that he mentioned are we going to?” Lisa says, “All of them, I guess.” Bart beams and asks, “Can we see a James Cagney movie too?” Homer says, “Sure we can, boy, but it depends if either your mother or I are going.” Lisa says, “I think Mom’s going with us. I’m not really sure but I think that there’s a 90 percent chance she is.” Bart says, “She’s still gonna let us go see a James Cagney movie. In 1935, she took us to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream and G-Men after we saw A Night at the Opera and Mutiny on the Bounty. ‘Course she puts her hands on Maggie’s eyes during G-Men but she thought A Midsummer Night’s Dream was child-friendly. Oh wait, during the shooting scenes in G-Men, Raphael took Maggie out to the Fox movie house to see a Shirley Temple movie.” Homer says, “But Bart, A Midsummer Night’s Dream is a Shakespeare play, so it has fruity Middle English language.” Bart says, “I still think it’s a fairytale.” Lisa says firmly, “Bart, the movie A Midsummer Night’s Dream was an adapted version of the original Shakespeare play so therefore, it had that old Shakespearean language in it, which Maggie didn’t understand and neither did you! You didn’t even understand what James Cagney was saying!” Bart says, “Yeah, but it had fairies in it; therefore, it was a fairytale! ‘Sides, Hansel and Gretel is translated from German and it sounds like it’s in Middle English. Anyway, who did Jimmy Cagney play in A Midsummer Night’s Dream again?” Lisa says, “He played Bottom the weaver. He was the one whom Mickey Rooney as Puck turned into an ass.” Both Bart and Homer roll over laughing, making Lisa regret the fact that she said ass. Just then, Maggie crawls in and says, “No Cag’ey movies!” Homer says to his baby daughter, “Don’t worry, Maggie; Mommy won’t make you watch that meanie James Cagney when she takes you guys to see Animal Crackers this summer.” Bart asks, “Why doesn’t Maggie wanna see a Jimmy Cagney movie?” Lisa says, “You know why, Bart: It’s ‘cause she’s afraid of him! Even though Cagney can also be funny, romantic, or musical, Maggie is still afraid of him ‘cause she doesn’t understand his jokes, and neither does she understand his romantic approaches nor does she pay attention when he dances.”
[1] Scene skipped: After Calvin drops her off at the Simpsons’ home, Priscilla finds a stressed out Homer and Marge sitting at the kitchen table. She says to them, “Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, I’ll take it from here. (Homer and Marge become confused by her presence) Your children and my siblings went to them movies to see a James Cagney movie which I ain’t s’pposed to see so I decided to stay here and help y’all.” Homer says gratefully, “Oh thank you, Priscilla!! Now we can have time to ourselves!” Marge asks her, “Are ya sure you can handle ‘em, honey? They’s can be quite a handful.” Priscilla says, “’Tis no problem.”